An Open Letter To...

Dear Brad Metlzer's Decoded,
   You used to intrigue me with your wild theories and facts but now you just piss me off.  Your episode on Da Vinci stated that Da Vinci predicted the invention of fireworks.  You do realize that the Chinese invented fireworks in about the 7th Century right?  You also know that Da Vinci lived in the 15th Cenury don't you?  Have you ever heard of Marco Polo?  You do know he brought fireworks home from China in approximately the 14th Century don't you?  Please at least pretend to do a little research.
Sincerely,
   Not a History Buff, but still know more than you.
P.S.  I found out the answers to those questions in less than 5 seconds on Google and I didn't even have to leave my bedroom.


Dear Fleece Sheets,
   You are the best invention ever invented.  You keep me toasty in winter and act as a light blanket in summer.  Plus you are extra cuddly.
Sincerely,
   Not a fan of sheets, but a fan of you


Dear Cadbury Chocolate Company,
   Mini Eggs are for Easter only.  My childhood dictates this.  Please stop messing with me and pull them from the shelves year round.
Sincerely,
   Confused by your logic.


Dear General Public,
   Pajama pants are never an acceptable form of clothing outside the comfort and safety of your own home.  Unless you are in the hospital. At least put on a pair of jeans.  I might even forgive sweat pants.  I will not forgive Pajama Jeans.  The inventor of these should be strung up by their toe hairs.
Sincerely,
   Your Self Respect.


Dear Pickles,
   You Rock!  Never Change.  That is all.

Dear TARDIS Mug,
   You are the best mug ever invented.  Your tall stature and square goodness hold a an incredible amount of liquid.  Your lid ensures that you make me the best cup of tea every time.  Please don't tell the yellow "Jesus loves you, you can run but you can't hide" mug that you are my favorite.  He scares me and I think he might be capable of violence.
Sincerely,
   Thirsty

Oscars 2012

In continuing with our Oscar tradition, J and I will be watching and competing over the winners of each category this year.  We went out to get our usual paper with the nominees and a pick your winner slot just a little while ago and, after driving to various locations in order to actually find 2 papers, got home ready to make our picks.  I eagerly opened the paper and turned to the entertainment section only to discover that for the first time in about 10 years they did not include and Oscar picks section.  Apparently the Calgary Sun has decided that the Oscars are going to be "boring" this year and the winners are a foregone conclusion so they didn't do a special.  Boo.

We are still going to do our tradition, just $2.50 poorer for wasting it on two papers.  I must say that although I am not super excited about the nominees in most categories and find this a little bit of a weak year in films, I am very much looking forward to the return of Billy Crystal.  I hope he does a fantastic job.  I also look forward to the fashions.  I'm sitting here watching the red carpet and I've noticed a few trends already.  Holy sequins!  Tons and tons of sparkly sequined and fitted gowns with heavy beading so far.  It's still quite early in the arrivals so I have yet to see anything to wacky and out there.  I've decided to blog along with the awards show and give you my thoughts/opinions as well as any gems of wisdom that may drop out of J's mouth.

I gotta tell you, most of the time the men's fashions really don't show much on my radar as the tux look, while each have their own unique style, is usually pretty boring.  With that being said, I just saw Christopher Plumber arrive in a blue crushed velvet tux and I love it!

Jessica Chastain in a stunning black and gold McQueen looks fabulous as well.  I know there may be some people that don't like this, but I find it stunning and unique.  Cudos.

Michelle Williams - I don't understand why people are raving about this one at all.  I really dislike everything about this except the color.  That weird addition of fabric around her waist/hips is awful.

Rooney Mara - fashion forward?  Please, let's take a step back.  The extra fabric on her bust is a little to futuristic sci-fi to be attractive and the deep neckline really shows off how much she needs to eat a few cheeseburgers.  I do like the fabric and the overall silhouette but the top is a big miss for me.

I'm loving all the bow ties I'm seeing on the guys.  Shout out to the power of Doctor Who because we all know that "bow ties are cool".

And our Oscar predictions are done.  J ended up printing off the wikipedia page for us to make our pics on since the newspaper sucks this year.

Ok, take a close look at this next photo...

No, not George or Stacey...the poor woman in blue is who I'm referring to.  She has the unfortunate distinction of being in the background of almost all of the Clooney/Kiebler photos and that dress is just NOT flattering.  It's clinging in all the wrong areas.  There are plenty of bigger women at the Oscars this year that know how to dress their bodies but this woman is not one of them.  In a dress like that, your undergarments are key.  The lack of them results in, well, this.

Dang, Twitter is all lit up about the stunt that Sasha Baron Cohen just pulled and I missed it.  I guess he showed up dressed as his "Dictator" character and dumped Kim Jong Il's "ashes" all over Ryan Seacrest.  I'm not really a Sasha fan, but that's pretty funny actually.  Man Youtube is all over this one fast!  They are taking down the video faster than people can upload it.  If you really want to see it, you can head over to Perez Hilton's blog.  He has it there.

Ok, I'm getting tired of this pre-show fashion stuff.  Can we just bring on the awards now?  Please?  I want to get back to The Walking Dead's new episode sometime tonight.

Ok I like this:

Best Oscar arrival of the night in my opinion.  I hope they have the Muppets do something on the show tonight.

Showtime.  I love the opening montage.  Great to see the classic Billy-inserts-himself-into-nominated-films opening.  And and opening song!  Slightly out of tune a number of times, but overall good.  Much better than a few of the past hosts for sure.

Cinematography
My Pick: Hugo
J: The Artist
Winner:  Hugo - score one for me!

Art Direction
My Pick: The Artist
J: The Artist
Winner: Hugo
   J "This is not going well for me.  I quit!"

Costume Design
My Pick: The Artist
J: The Artist
Winner: The Artist
   J "I really hope The Artist comes through for me.  I picked it for almost everything"

Makeup
My Pick: Harry Potter
J: The Iron Lady
Winner:  The Iron Lady
   Dang, now we're tied.

Foreign Language Film
My Pick: Bullhead
J: A Separation
Winner: A Separation
   This one's always a crap shoot because neither of us has a clue what film is what.  J said he picked this one because he thought he heard the guy who made it was dead...

Supporting Actress
My Pick: Octavia Spencer
J: Berenice Bejo
Winner: Octavia Spencer
  Yes, I'm back in this one!

Film Editing
My Pick: The Artist
J: The Artist
Winner: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Sound Editing
My Pick: Hugo
J: Transformers
Winner: Hugo

Sound Mixing
My Pick: Hugo
J: Transformers
Winner: Hugo
   J "I guess I just don't now enough about movie making because I wonder why these are two seperate categories.  I mean isn't sound mixing and editing a hand in hand thing?  Why isn't it just a best sound category?"  I think he's just mad that that put me ahead by two more.

I Love the Cirque number!  That was amazing and worthy of a standing ovation.  I could have done without the close up on Clooney during it though.  Show me the amazing stuff going on onstage not what's going on in the crowd.

Documentary Feature
My Pick: Paradise Lost 3 (because I've actually seen it)
J: Undefeated
Winner: Undefeated
   I think the award for best presenters should go with this category.  Robert Downey Jr and Gwenyth Paltrow were awesome.  Loved that Downey Tebowed.

Animated Feature
My Pick: Rango
J: Puss in Boots
Winner: Rango
   Yay me, but come on, what a weak category this was this year.  Nothing in this category was really that great.  Chris Rock's intro, on the other hand, was great.

Visual Effects
My Pick: Hugo
J: Transformers
Winner: Hugo
  J now officially hates Hugo and has declared it a stupid movie that he will never see and claims Martin Scorsese an asshole.

Supporting Actor
My Pick: Christopher Plummer
J: Kenneth Branagh
Winner: Christopher Plummer

Original Score
My Pick: The Artist
J: Hugo
Winner: The Artist
  J now believes the Oscars are rigged.

Original Song
My Pick: Man or Muppet
J: Man or Muppet
Winner: Man or Muppet
  Ok while I did enjoy the intro to this I'm very disappointed that the songs weren't actually performed.  I was really looking forward to the performances even if there were only two songs.

Adapted Screenplay
My Pick: Hugo
J: Moneyball
Winner: The Descendants
   Ok what the hell happened to Angelina Jolie?  While the dress might be stunning she looks like a bag of bones.  Her arms are disgustingly thin.  I hope it's for some upcoming film role about an anorexic and not that she's trying to make an adopted African baby feel at home with her tribute to malnutrition.

Original Screenplay
My Pick: The Artist
J: The Artist
Winner: Midnight in Paris
   Why is Woody Allen not at the awards?  Anybody?

Live Action Short
My Pick: Time Freak
J: Raju
Winner: The Shore
  Throw a dart and both get it wrong.

Documentary Short
My Pick: The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom
J: Incident in New Baghdad
Winner: Saving Face

Animated Short
My Pick: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
J: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
Winner: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
   What can we say, it sounded like an Oscar winning title.

Director
My Pick: The Artist
J: The Artist
Winner: The Artist
  Why was Micheal Douglas interrupted in the middle of his joke by a vitamin commercial?  Did anyone else see that?  Or have you all begun to lose interest in the Oscars like the rest of us have?  Ugh.

And now...In Memoriam,  Thank you for not cutting to the singer during the actual presentation, for not making one person top billed over any other, and for making that a respectful presentation.  Well done.

Actor
My Pick: Jean Dujardin
J: Jean Dujardin
Winner: Jean Dujardin
  Cute that he did his little dance.  I'm really getting bored now.

Actress
My pick: Viola Davis
J: Meryl Streep
Winner: Meryl Streep
  Meryl is always so classy.  I'm happy to see her win.  I also think her dress was quite a good choice for her.

Best Picture
My Pick: The Artist
J: The Artist
Winner: The Artist

And with that we are finally through this.  Final Score:  Me: 14, J:10

Closing Thoughts:  Fashions- pretty great this year overall.  Host- not bad.  Hoped for better, but better than last year.  Show overall- meh.  It may be time for the Oscars to overhaul their thinking on keeping things entertaining...

Gamer Girls

I have a bunch of posts I've been wanting to catch up on lately but something happened today that has me ranting.  I was hanging out at my local games store flipping through the latest Previews magazine and making an order when this guy came in looking for some Dungeons and Dragons stuff.  The owner of the shop had just stepped out to pick up dinner so J was running the shop and began helping him out.  He was looking for a specific tile set as he was starting a new campaign with a new group.  He was starting them off with Fourth Edition of DnD with then intention of getting them into playing Pathfinder as he was not a fan of Forth Edition.  I was just sitting quietly on the couch flipping pages in the magazine when I heard one of the most ignorant comments I've heard in a while.  He said "I've noticed a demographic change since Fourth Edition came out.  The last few groups I've played in have had a lot of...girls"  Ok, so it doesn't seem so bad when written out but the malice in his voice when he said it was what got my back up.  He was genuinely not pleased with how many female gamers there are and for some reason felt the need to blame it on the game.  Here's the thing, I'm a female gamer and I don't particularly care for Forth Edition.  I think it's a broken game and I know a ton of other gamers, male and female, who feel the same way.  So buddy, don't hide behind the game and say what you truly mean.  You don't like the fact that females have invaded your little world.  I left the store very shortly after that comment before I blew my top.

I am female.  I play RPG's, video games and board games.  I love Sci-Fi and Fantasy.  I read comics.  I go to conventions.  I wait in line for every Star Wars movie every time they release or re-release one.  I cosplay.  I follow web comic.  I love Horror films.  I am not alone.

It is not Fourth Edition that has brought more girls into your little world, it's a general shift in the culture of acceptance at large.  Have you ever been to a convention?  There are some of the most beautiful and smart women you will ever meet walking the floors.  They are there because they WANT to be.  Gone are the days when hot girls in costumes at conventions are there because they are paid models who have little to no interest in the subject matter.  We know our stuff.  There are plenty of women out there who can tell you anything from when Spiderman made his first appearance in a comic to who shot first, Han or Greedo?  There are women out there who can rule's lawyer you under the table.  We are smart, educated, beautiful, confident and we are here to stay.

Do you remember when the rest of the world looked down on you for being a gamer?  When you got teased in the hallways for being a geek?  When you got excluded from a party for being a loser?  Do you remember how happy you were when you found fellow geeks who shared your loves and pains?  Do you remember when you started to feel at home?  Do you remember how happy you were when being a geek suddenly became not a bad thing and you could proudly display your action figures in your living room? All of these things made you happy.  Why in the world would you feel the need to pass all that prejudice off on women who have the same interests as you?  We female geeks have enough of a hard time talking about our interest outside of the gaming world so why should we be forced to put up with males trying to make us feel uncomfortable in what should be a safe and fun environment?  The answer is we shouldn't.

I will never let a male geek make me feel uncomfortable for doing something I enjoy.  You will not outplay me in a RPG.  Your leering will not make me go and change out of my costume while walking the convention floor.  You will not cut in front of me in line for Star Wars.  You will not jack up the price on a collectible because I KNOW what it's worth.  I will fiercely defend the right of any other female to enjoy whatever geeky pass time she chooses.

Don't be threatened by us.  Embrace the fact that we have joined your world.  There is nothing better than being able to share something you love with someone of the opposite sex.  How about a candle lit dinner and a discussion on the last episode of Battlestar Galactica?  Invite us to play Three Dragon Ante for the night, you just might be surprised.  And for the love of all things geeky, let us play in your DnD group.  We bring a different perspective to the table and can greatly enhance your gaming experience.

I am female gamer, hear me Nat 20.