Seeing Inner Beauty

In my job I see a lot of things.  Some make you smile, some make you laugh, same make you cry and some break your heart.  I think the ones that get to me the most are the women who don't see their own beauty, inside and out.  Today was a day that broke my heart but ended in a small triumph.

Near the end of the day a mom and her two daughters walked in to my store to look for grad dresses.  hey noticed the sign on the door on their way in that said "appointments recommended" and were a little worried but I reassured them that we would be able to fit them in in about 10 minutes and brought them to the grad section to start browsing.  I went back to my appointment which was just wrapping up and finished everything with them.  Just as I finished I noticed that the family was back near the front of the store preparing to leave.  I asked the girl if she saw any dresses that she liked and she was very shy with me.  She barely made eye contact and gave very short answers to all my questions.  With a little encouragement from her mom we convinced her to come back in and at least try on a few gowns to see what she was liking.  I went back in to the grad section with them to help her pick out some gowns.  She seemed like she really didn't want to be there and really wasn't giving me much help with what she wanted in a gown.  Her mom picked one to get us started and I took her back to the dressing room.

In case you are new to this blog or are unaware of what I do for a living, let me fill you in.  I manage a full-service Bridal Salon.  If you've ever seen the TLC show "Say Yes to the Dress" you have a very good idea of what I do.  I help you pick gowns, and I dress you in them.  There are many reasons our store does this, but I digress.  I took this young woman back to the dressing area and explained to her that I would be helping her into the gowns.  She got a very fearful look in her eyes and nearly bolted for the door.  Her sister stopped her and told her it would be ok and how she wished that someone had helped her into the dresses when she went shopping for her grad dress.  I have dealt with shy girls before, but her reaction was quite extreme.  We provide slips for our customers to wear on their lower body so they don't feel overly exposed when we come in the room with them in their undergarments.  I suggested that she pull the slip up over her chest if it made her more comfortable.  The first time I went into the dressing room with her and saw her without her street clothes on, my heart broke.  She was a very beautiful girl who obviously didn't see that in herself.  She stood with her shoulders slumped forward, her hair pulled in front of her chest and her hands clamped tightly across her stomach.  Her arms were covered from her shoulders to wrists in scars.  Hundreds of small angry white lines.  I realized that this poor thing had inflicted each of these scars on herself at one time.  She had even carved a small heart into her chest which now shone white with the gleam of scar tissue.  I waned to scoop her up and tell her everything gets better and not to give up.  My heart melted and it became m mission to help this girl find a dress that would make her see some of her own beauty when she looked in the mirror.  It took some time and coaxing to get her to tell me what she liked but eventually we began to narrow things down.  Her mom and sister were so supportive of her.  Eventually, I pulled a dress off of one of the mannequins in the window and put her in it.  For the first time that day, I saw a smile on her face.  She began to shine and see herself in a new light.  Her shoulders held a little higher and her hair pulled back over her shoulders.  She didn't even try to cover herself with her hands but planted them firmly on her hips for a picture.  Her mom bought her the dress and they left the store happy.

I'd like to think that I made a small difference in her life, even if just for a short while.  I don't do these things because I want someone to remember me or think I'm amazing.  I don't even want to take any credit for finding the perfect dress for someone.  I do take a great deal of personal satisfaction in those little moments when I can make a girl see something special when she looks in the mirror.  If you have never taken the time to see the inner beauty in a random stranger, try it!  Once you see it, try to make them see what you see.  Sometimes all it takes is a little smile.

Anniversary "Traditions"

Yesterday J and I celebrated our 8th anniversary.  We also discovered a new anniversary tradition.

It started last year.  We left the house for breakfast and on our way we came across an accident.  An elderly gentleman on a bike had been hit by a car.  We pulled over and ran out to help.  I spent roughly 35 minutes kneeling in the middle if a busy road immobilizing his head while an off duty paramedic checked him over and J directed traffic.  We stayed until the ambulance and police showed up and then we quietly headed on our way.  (The man was ok.  He had a slight shoulder injury but was coherent and has since recovered fine, although I haven't seen him on a bike since.)  Needless to say, we didn't make it to breakfast, but we did a good deed.

Yesterday we left the house and went for lunch and on our way back we came across a guy whose truck had stalled in a very bad place on a very busy street and he was trying to push it uphill to get it off the road.  Without even discussing it, we pulled the car over and jumped out to help.  4 other people stopped to help as well and then a truck pulled over with a tow rope and we quickly hooked him up and got him off the road.

Now J and I are the type of people who always stop to help.  If we see a car on the side of the road, we pull over.  We hold doors open for people.  We boost cars regularly.  And now we joke about our new anniversary tradition of doing at least one good deed and then fading into the background like some superhero.

Here's to many many more years of keeping this tradition alive.

The Good, The Bad, and the WTF??

It has been an interesting week at work.  Although this time of year we are slower at work because people are more focused on Christmas shopping it is by no means uninteresting.  Here's a slice of the week I had.

The Good:  About a month ago I helped a grad girl find the perfect gown and all the trimmings to go with it.  She was so excited.  I found out last week that her home had recently burned down and she lost the dress and everything else to go with it.  Her mom called me this week and asked if we still had any of the stuff that she had purchased so she could replace it for her.  I did some rooting through our stock and found everything she had purchased except for the tiara.  When I told my boss about he situation she contacted the manufacturer and had the piece custom made for the girl and decided that we would replace the pieces for this lovely young girl for free.  I love working for a caring company.

The Bad:  A bride came in to shop for a gown with her terror of a child.  I love children, but this was no little boy.  I think he was a demon.  He ran all over the place, knocked over things, went into the private office area, stepped on gowns and even stole money out of our cash box.  And what did she do about all this....absolutely NOTHING!!  Please brides, we don't mind if you bring your children with you.  We even have a toy box for them.  But if you are raising a demon-child that you won't even try to control please come another day...when you have a sitter or someone with you to wrangle the monster.

The WTF??:  And lastly, I helped a walk-in customer and her fiance search for a gown.  Everything was going very smoothly and we were having alot of fun in the appointment until he asked me if he could speak to her alone.  This isn't an uncommon request, but it usually happens at the end of the appointment once the gown has been found and people want to discuss finances...but we were only 2 dresses into the start of the appointment.  They got into a very heated discussion and he ended up leaving the store.  I took her back to change out of the gown she had been in the whole time and she told me that she must have gotten a text message while we were in the dressing room and he checked it.  Turned out it was from he ex-boyfriend saying how he couldn't wait to see her again and blah blah blah...  Needless to say, she left without purchasing a dress...and I'm not too sure, but i think she left single as well.

Ahhh the drama of working in a Bridal store.  Keeps my life interesting at least.

Thanks for making my day!

This morning I was waiting at the bus stop to go to work and was thinking to myself..."Here we go again.  Another cold and snowy day means no customers at work and I still haven't started Christmas shopping and I have so much to to and..."  Round and round my brain went and I was beginning to think this was going to be a crappy day when a car drove by and stopped at the light right in front of the stop.  I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even notice at first until I heard his stereo start blaring.  At first I was annoyed and then I realized what song was playing.  He was blaring "Eye of the Tiger" so loud that even with his windows rolled up against the cold I could hear it clearly and suddenly my day got a little brighter.  I had a good day today.  My co-worker offered to help with my Christmas shopping by doing some running around for me when I can't.  I even did a good deed by finding a cell phone in a snow drift and managing to track down it's owner and return it.  He was very grateful.  And then I got an unexpected phone call from a friend I haven't seen in forever with a dinner invitation.  I think by making my attitude a little more positive first thing I was open to seeing things a little better today.  Thank you random guy in the red car blaring a kick ass tune at 9 in the morning.  You really did help make my day!